No More Mountains

I am generally a depressed old git. I hate being alone. But not more than being married. Having responsibilities and to have to listen to people is a drag. If I wanted drag, Id get the marlboro's out or the old tiara. Hmmm. Xmas is a horrible invention. All that merry making and good cheer. I cant stand it. Because I am, lets face it, a scrooge. A lookback at this year, seems uneventful. Went to Mount Kinabalu but didnt get all the way. What a loser! But there are some nice pix.

Watched Angels in America. God, it is a brilliant piece of work. Must watch again. V funny. V epic. Mike Nichols is a genius. It sort of inspired me to make a movie. I mean to actually do something about it.

That said, My Pet Project is underway. But I cannot afford to pay my Personal Assistant. Sigh! Havent really talked to anyone about it. But will do soon.

Had a semi-midlife crises this year. The road this year has been a bumpy one. Nearly died in an accident. My car was completely totalled. Brilliant. I got a new Perdana. V nice.

Got promoted which is not that great after all. But I deserved something. Anything.

My parents got into an auto accident too. Brilliant. I didnt go and see them because I am useless. I am soo going to hell for this. Amongst other things. This year has been v stressful and I have officially started smoking. Again.

Wet dreams: OK Sex has never been my strong point and I avoid discussing it at all cost. But this year's best dream has got to be recorded for posterity: the one where I open my wallet to find only condoms and ending with me screaming "What the hell am I suppose to do with these???!!!"

My Pet Project

I have decided to update my address book. I have been doing this on and off because I kind of wanted to be kept updated with what is happening with my friends, family and relatives. So, here I have this huge address book but I never call anyone. Because quite frankly, I am somewhat embarassed with what little I have accomplished over the years. I mean, Malaysians are becoming world number one champions, swimming across the English Channel, and any day now someone is going into space. At the very least, they are moving ahead in their careers, getting married and raising a family. I have never done any of those things. Its pathetic.

As I looked through my address book, I started thinking: Whatever happened to Satok, Matt, Hoi Kian? They must be leading very busy lives. At least that is my excuse for not contacting my friends. Ever since the awful accident, I started wondering if my time is almost up. [I didnt catch Final Destination, but I did see FD2- Kinda freaky!]. And it eventually meant asking myself: What am I doing here? I guess the best way to answer that is to look around and ask people what they think Life (or Death if youre morbid) is all about.

So, get ready. Here I come.

Missed Opportunity

I missed yesterday's TIP Session. Sigh!

Tragedy Comedy Sensory and Memory -Hey It Rhymes!

There were three of us last night: Areef, PY and myself. Poor Teresa had to work on a presentation. Looks like YA is shrinking. But we didn’t really care.

We began as usual smoking and drinking. Attempted to skip the warm ups coz we couldn’t be bothered. We played a game to strengthen our memories. We walked. We played statue. We became mobiles. Then mobiles with sound. We froze. We walked fast. All at the command of Areef who shouted numbers for each state. For example 1 for Freeze, 2 for Statue, etc. Hmm that totally worked. At the end we rest.

Continuing from our previous TIP session, Areef went on to explain status play in tragedies and comedies. He explained that tragedies in the traditional Greek sense have certain characteristics, which includes amongst others: royalty/nobility, noble actions, tragic flaws and ends with a catharsis. He then related the story of Oedipis Rex- a tragic figure.

The end of Oedipus, a nobleman due to his actions and flaws he tragically falls from grace. His status began high and then later dropped to a low status.

In a comedy, the characters are generally of the middle class. The comedy arises when a low status player pretends to be a high status player. Or vice versa. But in a comedy, there is traditionally a happy ending.

“Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel”

Constantine Stanislavski, one of the great drama theorist of the last century, provided some basics on how to prepare as an actor. Areef summarises it as follows:
(1) Relaxation- an actor must achieve mental and physical relaxation;
(2) Concentration and Observation- listening and focusing are the tools of the actor, without which how will he be able to act out blindness, deafness, for example. An actor needs to focus and observe so that every time he is on stage he will be able to recreate the ‘illusion of first time’, i.e. hearing his fellow actors and react as if it is the first time he has heard it;
(3) Unity and Specifics – Stanislavski student once, during dinner, asked him how to do this. He replied simply by analogy: pointing at the steak and asks how to eat the whole steak – we would cut it into tinier pieces. Thus an actor must be able to dissect his characters- physically (how he walks), socially and politically (where he grew up and social standing), emotional (his past experiences) and religion (his belief systems).
(4) Inner Truth – An actor must ‘see’ what he believes and believes what he ‘sees’. The “Magic If” – what if there is a murderer behind the door, you must act like your life is in danger etc;
(5) Emotional Recall – Effective memory. For example, remembering how we feel when we are happy and bringing that onto stage However, there is a danger of taking such memory for granted or worse taking it out of context. For example, using the memory your dead cat to bring out the feeling of a dead parent on stage.
(6) Using the Four W and One H- That is asking yourself ‘Who’, ‘What’, ‘Where’, ‘When’, ‘Why’ and ‘How?’
(7) Superobjective – Knowing the big picture of your character’s goals. For example, if you are a low status character late for a meeting with your girlfriend, your superobjective might be “not to get shit from her”.
(8) Ensemble Play – Actors must act and react on stage
(9) Body and Vocal – Actors must have flexibility of body and vocals.

Sums, the birthday girl, showed up somewhere in between this enlightening discussion and we all kissed her. The full on lip-lock with PY was too much for Areef and he broke into tears. (Okay I made this stuff up). But it is her birthday, I promise.

10.20p.m.Oooh! Cigarette break!

During the break, I told Areef and PY about my idea of taking TIP into schools. Not just as a way of showing what is theatre and encouraging people to appreciate the arts but rather as a way of thinking of making our youths care about philosophy, i.e. the meaning of life. I should warn you that we may be arrested for sedition because no government likes its citizen to think.

After the break we did some Sensory and Memory exercises.

Point

Sight is our most dominating sense. Actors should try to use their other senses. In this exercise, we were asked to focus on a point. And after we are sure of where the point is, we close our eyes and walk towards the point and try to locate it using our other senses. Sort of.

Bear of Poitiers

In this exercise, we try to desensitise our senses. We pretend that we are dead. We try to not hear, not see, not feel anything. We failed miserably. I am ticklish. PY is just hysterical. Sigh.

Imaginary Journey

Best described as the dumb-mute leading the blind, this exercise involves an actor taking an imaginary journey with a fellow actor. All the while both must be silent. They can only communicate physically – the dumb-mute through physical interaction causes the blind man to walk, crawl, jump, dance and/or climb over obstacles, both real and imagined. Afterwards, each tells their story of this imaginary journey. We could not remember most of the journey. Scatterbrains.

These Sensory and Memory exercise heightened or dull our senses. Either way, we must remember that actors need to use all our senses not just sight, as most other people do.

Before we left, Areef gave us a Lifetime Assignment: To take a few minutes every night as we are lying in bed, before we dream of Tony’s, Emmy’s and Oscars (okay I embellished a bit), to recall our entire day. Remembering specifics in our day – what time we woke up, what we wore that day until the time we are in bed. This can help with improving our memory. Or at the very least beats counting sheep.

Give and Receive/Status Play

It started late. I am thinking that we should name ourselves the Victorian Tardy Company, which when said fast could sound like V. Tarty Co. which is not even too far fetched either. Anyways, back to biz.

Only five of us showed up for this one. Edora was totally nodding off most of the time. Bless the tired child. When I arrived, PY and Areef were sitting on the steps of the shop downstairs from Sspace. They seemed delighted at my arrival or at least the goodies I have brought. After one hour of dingdong at the mamak, Edora finally showed up. She had brought the wrong keys and had to go back to get it. I have brought wrong keys before but I never bother going back. I usually just sodit.

Finally we started at 6pm. We skipped warm ups. Teresa after having enough sleep was unusually hyper. She reminds me of a Teletubby, but not Tinkywinky- apparently he has no qualms about carrying a handbag. But I digress. We started giving each other imaginary presents. We had to exaggerate our response so that others are able to figure out what we are doing. Miming is crucial.

Later we played a similar game. In this one, one person "gives" an action and another will react by "receiving" the action. This is so that we become in tune with each other. So that there is an undercurrent between actors. For example, in one scene, PY was "giving" a scene in an art gallery. When Areef came along, he thought the scene was a bus stop. In the end was confusion! We learned to receive and react because that is what is important being an actor. We try to understand what the other person is conveying through actions. Sometimes, our actions are misunderstaood. For example, when Areef gives PY a rose, she receives it like a cigarette. Areef upon seeing this began smoking a cigarette. PY though only appears to receive it like a cigarette but she actually meant to receive a flower. Thus more confusion.

Afterwards, we added dialogue. Practising doing actions unrelated to what we are saying. Areef warned us about blocking. In this context, blocking means saying or acting in a way that dismisses your fellow actor. For example, when PY says look at the fungus, instead of saying: "No it is not a fungus." Teresa should have said explored the idea of a fungus further.

Thus as actors, we must be able to give and receive.

We further developed the idea by exploring status play. This is the idea that we are all exerting some form of status or other, either low or high. Areef gave us a script:
"Been waiting long?"
"Ages"
We took turns being the one who waited and the one who is late. We also took turns being high and low status. Fascinating.

After, we improvised on the same without fixed lines. The scenario two people who lived together and the scene starts with A at home when B returns. B discovers that his letter has been opened by A. Drama ensues. We used the techniques learned as part of our motivation, ie we played both high status person and low status person and act out how the different status would react in the situation. Nice.

Starting Again

The end of term one was a bit of anti climax. I hardly wrote anything useful after January 2005 because it was a very busy time at work and I became generally lazy. Many things happened since then. I feel it is my duty, as the self appointed historian of VTC, to record some details.

Victor, our artistic director, has gone off on a hiatus of sorts. Michael chose to study and quit VTC for the time being. Olivia was kicked out some time ago. Sums has also gone academic, preparing for exams. Alia has all but gone. So that leaves us in the panicky hands of Edora, Areef who is equally a perfectionist. Good thing is Paik Yin has chosen to return. Teresa and I are trying very hard to keep up with all the classes which clashes with our work schedules all the time. David too has been on some sort of hiatus. Everybody is taking a break.

The latest thing that we are trying to do is Theatre In Progress (TIP), inspired by the same from Actors Studio: My Indon Maid. A brilliant production. After the show, David, Teresa, Edora, Sums, Michael and I, we were talking at the Mamak and it was decided that we were going to do something like it.

So days or maybe weeks later, we decided to take shelved ideas from our Main Production and turn it into a mini production: TIP. Last weekend, we had a general exercise to start things going. For me it is a new beginning. I don't know why I have this feeling that we are not as focused as we used to be. The enthusiasm and object-orientedness when we first began YAs slowly ebbed and the tide went out when Ghafar chose to further his studies. Then VTC's internal issues crop up and I feel that we began to drift away. It culminated in the firing of Olivia. Just when we thought things could not get worse, Michael and Victor has other priorities which cannot be ignored.

In the meantime, some of us in our personal capacities, did Cocobongo and Lucy, which I fear may one day haunt us. It was silly, fun but ultimately damaging, not to our professionalism as I would assume, but rather to the fabric of YAs. We saw each other under stress and I tell you it wasnt pretty. We did not escape unscath, because people hurt each other and they never realise it. And I think we are still recovering from the pain. But I have always been philosophical about conflict: It is there because we needed to learn something about ourselves and connect to each other and move on to another level that we could not have if it did not occur.

Anyways, a few days back, another conflict occurred. We had different ideas as to what was the objective of TIP. In the end it was resolved. In fact we even had a nice story which David will in turn write. I am fascinated by this whole process. I sometimes wonder how Peter Jackson (Director of Lord of the Rings - to the uninitiated) does it.

Oh gosh! Whoever reads this and become offended, it is not my intention to make us look bad nor was any malice intended. Rather, its my record of facts and events as I see them. I think there is room for improvement. Not just professionally and personally, which I guess is what everyone seeks by taking part in something like this. But rather, the bigger picture: improve the way we see the world. To expand our horizon and to view the universe as God would- an endless struggle that in the end is probably futile and hopeless. But in it there is beauty.

So let us start again. Start to see the beauty.

Ensemble Work 1

It was one of those sessions that should have been better. It was not good being told that your “applications was poor” by the Art director. On a happier note, the story-line was good. Though I was not convinced.

I think the problem was that I did not understand the purpose of the ensemble work. I would certainly have done a better job if I had known that what was required i.e. Application of our course work.

But it was interesting to see Areef and Teresa slither on stage again panting and yelling: “I can” and “I can’t”. Too bad I had to leave early that day because I had to stop a wedding. Alas, unlike Julia Robert, I arrived late at the wedding and it was not my best friend’s wedding. Though there was plenty of singing and a guy playing saxophone and a Malaysian idol (hopeful/wannabe). But I digress.

More about the piece that Alia and I have done:

THE WORK
The idea for our piece was about four people. In the first Act, a married couple were in a car, the wife yapping and the husband driving. At the end of it, the two were killed in an automobile accident. In the second Act, the guardian (me again as Uncle John) to the husband and wife’s daughter (Alia), explained the relationships of the four people. In the final Act, the child explains her trouble.

THE CRITIC
Art Director urged everyone to be unkind. I did not hear what Areef had to say because I was on the phone, which was a pity. Would appreciate if someone could enlighten me. Some critical points:

Poor applications: Cannot deny but it was not clear what was the piece supposed to be about. We were supposed to do something personal, which I would like to highlight: As the husband- I was attempting to play my father. As the guardian – I played (almost) myself. As Alia told me: She was essentially playing her mother and a younger version of herself. There should have been more movements and more vocal expressions.

Poor characterisations: The audience could not tell the difference between the two characters that each of us were playing.

Poor presence: Alia’s character did not have much presence due to inappropriate blocking. According to Alia – it was intentional. Why was that Alia? Tell me. Please. For the record, I thought my presence (as the Guardian) was appropriate, though Azmyr thought it was very Harold Pinter. Is that good?

LESSONS LEARNED
What I would have done differently was that I would probably have asked Alia to be the husband and myself the wife. Then we could have better range of vocals and our movements could have been more pronounced or exaggerated: Me- feminine, Alia- masculine.

The above would also have given rise to more interesting characterisations.

I am too lazy to write on Teresa or Areef’s work but hopefully Teresa or Areef will do some writing for YA’s benefit. Would appreciate if the other team i.e. Edora and Azmyr do the same.